I recently travelled for four weeks through Italy and didn’t speak any Italian.
Oops.
I say “oops” because communication with people of other cultures is my field of expertise—Intercultural Communication and hopefully communicating in general. Well, of course, I said “Ciao”, “Grazie” and a few other things at the proper moment, and later became quite good at ordering my dinner, but not much more. And don’t we say that showing good manners in a foreign country is at least making an effort to speak the language? Haven’t we always learned this is how we show respect in a new environment? Make an effort, show your interest in the other culture. Try to speak the language. They will respect you more for it.
But in this case, I adopted a different tack. This was not about trying to be rebellious, or lazy, but rather about mindfulness to myself and my need to relax. In a job (intercultural consultant) that requires effort, skills and courage to facilitate building bridges between people, companies, hierarchies and company cultures on a regular basis, it is lovely to let go of the focus on words for a short time. Besides, my husband has a Bavarian education and a wonderful grasp of schoolboy Latin that serves him quite well in Italy. So Wolfgang can make the restaurant reservations and ask for directions if need be.
I say “adopted” because I didn’t plan it. I just kept speaking a language that I never get tired of testing the limits of, my native language English. (I should say at this point that I speak German with my family and work about 70% in German so speaking English is a treat for me.) I talked about food, clothes, textiles (clothes), drink, shopping, driving and people in English with Italians.
Actually, the idea to write about it came from a friend of mine who manages several linguistic journals at an academic publishing house. She had recently told me of an article one of their editors from the Netherlands had written: His thesis was this: When two people with two differing native languages communicate using their own native languages instead of one switching to the other, comprehension between them may be nearly as good as when one of them attempts a pidgin or half- accurate attempt at speaking the other’s language or “speakers with different linguistic backgrounds use their respective preferred languages while understanding the language of their interlocutor.” (Gerda J. Blees and Jan D. ten Thije). The concept is called “Receptive Multilingualism”. https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007%2F978-3-319-02240-6_25
Now I know I didn’t exactly follow this formula, as I don’t speak Italian and I don’t know in advance who speaks English of my communication partners. Instead I adapted the concept a bit: meaning speaking English while 1) knowing some beginner Spanish and French, 2) mix it with a practiced use and awareness of facial expression and 3) body language, and last of all add 4) a dash of positive intention. And voilà, a communication concoction based on the concept above.
I realized that this is a concept I have been thinking about for a while, growing out of an exercise developed by Anne Copeland called “The Right Stuff”. Some of you may know this self-assessment. Groups must rate their own skillset on living and working internationally. One of the criteria is how important it is to learn the language of your host country. After much debating with different groups it does not come down to learning a language is a must, but answering a defining set of questions such as: how long will be you in this country? What is the language of your team? What are your objectives? How often will you actually be in the country? How much time can you devote to learning a language? What will you use it for? These and other points can be used to identify a way forward that balances these needs.
But back to Italy!
I learned a few things:
- Some Italians speak wonderful English! And as a former EFL/ESL trainer It was delightful to hear their usage and interpretations of different English words and expressions and see their enjoyment in communicating and finding a way together to understanding.
- It seems to be possible to create a bond of smiling that fosters good will and understanding, no matter what language you speak. I love people and connecting with them and this friendliness and smiling got me very far in Italy.
- Italians are excellent at adapting and reading body language and facial communication. I also had very few instances of my communication partners giving up or getting frustrated.
- Some people spoke only Italian with me (especially waiters) while I spoke English. And a few times these conversations were passionate, especially at one restaurant in Otranto. I respected the waiter so much for sticking with his Italian as he explained the food and the menu as I asked questions. We had great eye contact and he was constantly checking our table from across the room to make sure we were all right. There was a respect and a love of food that we both shared.
What else did I learn? It is really too simplistic to say “you have to speak the language”. There are other ways to build that bridge or intuit people’s hearts.
In the end, it comes down to communication and to what connects us. I found if there was a common connection; the language itself was not so important. The connection was often beauty, food, smiling, warmth, love of children. One woman had tears spring to her eyes when I complimented her on her dress.
So my advice to you, dear reader, is to have courage! Try something new, take a small risk and enjoy the variety of people and their reactions in this big world.
We all have our stories of beauty and risk, what are yours?
Jacquelyn Reeves, M.S.
Interculturalist
Specialist in German/American Business Relations